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HEALTH TIP: Sisterhood is food for the Soul
I am blessed. I was taught to be
a sister and being a sister draws sisters to me. To truly embrace sisterhood
in its fullness, we must first become the sister that we yearn to have in our
lives. One of my valued principles on sisterhood is that every sister needs
a sister to love. This is one of the major principles in my life, which helps
to keep me balanced and healthy.
Because I've always had beautiful, nurturing, and positive
sisters in my life, I've always viewed sisterhood as something that everyone
has experienced. Of course as I matured and encountered many women throughout
my life, I realized that there are women who long for that woman to simply call
"SISTER" and embrace that life-changing force called SISTERHOOD. The following
list is not inclusive but it is meant to help others embrace SISTERHOOD as a
life-changing health regimen and to encourage the spreading of SISTERHOOD for
those who are experiencing her warm embrace.
The ideas and suggestions in this column are not intended for
use in diagnosing mental or physical ailments. All matters regarding your
health should be addressed to your health service provider.
10 Tips on
Sisterhood
- Just say "hello" and acknowledge a new sister with warm eye
contact and a smile. The eyes are the mirror to the soul. They reflect the
person who is inside. To begin walking that path to sisterhood, you've got to
make warm eye contact.
- Move outside of your comfort zone. Sometimes we have been
exposed to doing things certain ways, talking to certain people, and having
certain types of acquaintances for so long we don't know how to change. Not
only does doing the routine (the norm) limit your exposure to the world around
you but it also doesn't exercise your brain enough. Make a conscious effort to
enrich your life with a sister that you've never imagined having. Find someone
who doesn't look, dress, eat, or act like you and extend a warm hello.
Be proactive; Keep extending that warm hello until it grows.
- Learn to see beyond the surface and acquire a variety of
sister vessels. If you can envision a pitcher of water that has been
poured into several vessels. One is a coffee mug, one is a beautiful champagne
glass, and one is an old pop bottle. Which one of those vessels contains the
water from the pitcher? You're right! THEY ALL DO. So just like those vessels
contain the water so do the various sister vessels. Your task is to find the
sister vessel that will enrich your life. Just because you're an old pop bottle
doesn’t mean that an old pop bottle will be the one to enrich your life.
(You get the picture).
- Just keep it real - be yourself (who you are) - no airs. So
often we walk through the paths of life wearing a mask of who we think people
want us to be and not embracing the freedom of simply being ourselves. I like
the way that William Shakespear said it, "To thine own self be true".
You'll be a healthier and happier sister because of it.
- Learn to be a good listener (read positively between the words)
and (read the unspoken language -- the body language). Not all body language is
bad, although we've seen some negative displays of language communicated
through others' bodies. Sometimes those unspoken words and body language can be
saying, "I care" or "I'm hurting". Practice listening with your heart (your
inner self) and not your physical ears and eyes.
- Learn to laugh with someone, not necessarily at them. Laughter
is good medicine and food for the body, soul and spirit. Science has shown that
endorphins are naturally produced within our brains. They are more than
neurotransmitters that serve as a built-in pain control system. Some scientists
claim that endorphins enhance our immune system and have anti-aging effects.
Endorphins are produced when we share love, eat a great meal, take a walk, and
for me, singing a song even when we learn something new. One of the easiest
ways to release endorphins is to laugh. Laughing with a sister is like
experiencing a physical and mental workout.
- Have a good cry with a sister. Although women are notorious for
shedding tears, there are still many sisters out there who aren't letting them
flow. There are times when we want to be alone but there are times when we need
the nurturing arms of a sister. Stress is one of the biggest killers.
Interestingly enough, it is the way that our bodies react both physically and
emotionally to any change in the status quo. Sisters can manage stress by
helping others. Sometimes that is the perfect remedy for whatever is troubling
you. But one of my ways of managing stress and staying healthy is the freedom
to have a good cry with a sister. Tears of sadness, joy or grief can help
cleanse the body of substances that accumulate under stress and it also
releases those good ole endorphins from the brain.
- Spread the love 'cause you are love. I heard this wonderful
quote from my sister; I'm not sure who the author is. It says, "A candle
that lights another candle doesn't lose its light but the light shines brighter
throughout the world."
- Reinforce sisterhood 'cause sisterhood is good. Like a cure to
a disease, like the fountain of youth, like a gold mine, and like love,
sisterhood is good and much needed in our families, communities, and our
world.
Did You
Know?
- Sisterhood is a major stimulus for our 6th
sense, EMOTION. This sense is as necessary as the well known "5-Senses"
(vision, hearing, smell, taste, and touch) to maintain a healthy brain, which
in turn maintains a healthy YOU.
- Associating with a positive sister can lift your morale.
Approximately 1/4 of women has a major bout with depression sometime during
their life (They may not even know it as depression because it can manifest
itself as insomnia, fatigue.) Sisterhood has been proven and is actually one of
the self-help tips that professional mental health service providers recommend
for a balanced mental health.
- Low self-esteem may be a factor that inhibits women from
embracing sisterhood. Like self-esteem we all have a measure of love
available to us. However, building self-esteem and building sisterhood is a
process. Many women don't work at building sisterhoods because they don't work
at building themselves. It is crucial for us to build. Like our Creator placed
the trees that we use to build houses with, we must use love and positive
reinforcement of ourselves to build our self-esteem, which will in turn enable
us to build lasting sisterhoods.
- Friendship and Sisterhood are different. Friendship is a
condition of being friends or a friendly feeling but sisterhood is a tie or
special bond between women. Sisterhood is a powerful force that
transcends age, culture, religion, background, and our finite comprehension of
what it is. To even define it in its fullness is difficult because, like love
it is always growing.
- Love is the one constant ingredient in sisterhood but how it's
shared will vary. Look at it like watering your plants and flowers. They all
need water and sunlight but how much water and sunlight that you provide
depends on what type of plant it is.
Questions and
Answers
Why is sisterhood so
important?
Every sister needs a sister to love. Because we are such complex
individuals, there are some things in our life that can only be imparted by
another sister connected to you through that positive and spiritual bond called
sisterhood. (Sisterhood can coexist in your life with other relationships with
women, such as mothers, aunts, biological sisters and
friends.)
Do we have a responsibility to mentor
and teach young women to be sisters?
Sisterhood is like a legacy that needs to be passed on to future
generations. Our young sisters need to be taught how to be sisters and our
older women need sisters to keep their brains stimulated with positive
emotional stimulus.
Should and can we be sisters to older
women?
Yes. Sisterhood knows no age. However, it is crucial that we
make an extended effort to build sisterhoods with the older women, particularly
our seniors. As the older women's peer groups and/or spouses have passed on
their social circle often diminishes. They may be forgotten about in senior
citizen homes or sometimes even by family members. Positive emotional
interaction, one of the benefits of sisterhood, is a key sense that provides
for a well-balanced sister. That's something that a sister never gets too old
to have.
How can you establish a sisterhood
with someone who doesn't know what it means to be a sister or has never had a
sister?
I often encounter women, both young and old, who have never
experienced the warm embrace of sisterhood. Sisterhood requires work.
Oftentimes the sister initiating the bond will be like a farmer tilling ground
that has never been worked before. It's a process that requires time and
different approaches. (Think outside of routine and use your heart.) Remember
that, like love, sisterhood is patient, kind, and it perseveres. There may be
times when that sister, who is most needed for your life, will be the one that
you have to teach how to be a sister.
Name a well-known sister who you feel
reflects what sisterhood is all about. Why?
Yolanda Adams. I first heard her minister in song in 1994 in
Cincinnati, Ohio and I have supported her work since then. In the midst of what
some would describe as a gospel concert, she was about helping others and truly
giving of herself. She openly shares about many of the mistakes in her life in
order to help encourage and exhort others. Open My Heart isn't something
she just sings about, the sister lives it and continues to keep it real. That
is one of the most important characteristics about sisterhood. It has no airs -
it's just real love.
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